Sometimes They Look At Him

It happens. And it's likely happening more than I know. But when you're different, people will look. It's just the way it is. People are curious. They are concerned. Or perhaps they think there is something to laugh about. Or they are simply noticing. Some say it's human nature. But regardless of why, they always look. And since Ryan is different, sometimes they look at him.

My first thought is that they are taken by Ryan's off-the-chart cuteness factor. Aren't we all? :) Or possibly they are drawn by his contagious smile and magnetic personality. There are a million wonderful reasons why a person may look at my son. But no matter how positive the attention is, it's still attention. They are still looking at my little boy.

Recently at a park, a little girl was staring at Ryan as he played with his friends. She just stood there and watched him. Though she didn't speak, her eyes said enough. Like lasers they sought him and exposed his difference. They singled him out and made him weird. They teased and laughed. And they hurt my heart more than I can explain. But when Ryan noticed her, he introduced himself. And he even told her that he is "Little Big". My damaged heart become whole in a moment. And though her eyes didn't divert from Ryan, he gave her eyes something to see.

Sometimes they look at him. But I've learned that sometimes it can be a good thing. I know this is true because Ryan reminds me every day. The day at the park is just one example of big and small moments when Ryan stands taller than tall. While I sat on the sidelines wishing for a reason to smack the girl's mother - how dare she teach her child such hurtful tendancies?! - Ryan received an opportunity. And he took it. The little girl gave Ryan a chance to speak up. And a chance to stand up for himself. She gave him an occassion to be proud of who he is. And he took it. I was so proud.

Sure, people look at Ryan. And often I find it hard since actions really do speak louder than words. The looks and stares are so hurtful. Pointing fingers, avoidance and laughter make deep deep wounds. But then I remember, actions speak louder than words. It can go both ways. When Ryan rose to the challenge the little girl offered at the park, he didn't raise his voice or fight back. In fact, he barely said a word. Instead, he made her actions insignficant when he ignored her and continued to play with his friends. He didn't care that she was staring. Her attitude didn't have to ruin his day. And it didn't.

Sometimes they look at Ryan. And sometimes it hurts his feelings. And it always breaks my heart. But it will never define how Ryan feels about himself.