Venturing Outside the Bubble

The other day Ryan said something that he's never said before. We were heading out to a friend's birthday party. And just as we were leaving he said, "If someone I don't know calls me a baby, I'll tell them that I'm 7." My first thought was pride. He still struggles with confidence and speaking up. But then I realized something. He's nervous. He's considering the fact that there will be kids he doesn't know at the party. We're leaving the comfort of his bubble.

Ryan is surrounded by the most amazing people. His family. And his friends at school. Our family friends. And our LPA friends. Ryan has worked hard at being the best he can be. And it shows. No matter where we go, he seems to make friends. He even makes friends with employees at our grocery store. His bubble is fully intact and he thrives inside of it.

It's rare that I consider the world outside of Ryan's bubble. This is partially because we don't often find ourselves needing to venture outside. As long as Ryan has some of his comfort with him, the bubble follows. Going to the park with friends. Swimming in the community pool. Family trips. His bubble is there for him. There's no need to look outside. This is a great skill we all have. We aren't looking for the stares. Or the pointing fingers when we go out. We are with our friends, or simply each other. We do our thing and we're happy. The bubble is intact.

We are lucky to have a strong bubble - it's the reason Ryan appears so confident. But there are a lot of times Ryan has to venture outside of it. More than I realized. The world outside of his bubble is giant. And it's scary. The weight of this unknown is quite a lot for a kid to carry. And he carries it everywhere he goes. Just one question about his height ... and POP. His bubble is burst. He's exposed.

In the past we enjoyed our ignorant bliss. And we often still do. Bubbles are protective and secure. Ryan is safe and happy. But as he's getting older, he is venturing out more on his own. Sometimes he's forced to when he is asked about his size. And sometimes he is looking out and wondering. He's starting to see the world outside of his safe place. He sees his friends getting much bigger. He has witnessed hurtful actions and realizes his own insecurities. And though his bubble has given him confidence and strength, he is going to venture outside more and more. There is a big world out there. And I wonder if he's ready for it. And if I'm ready for it.

I can hope that as Ryan ventures out, he will be able to use his bubble for support. A soft place to land when he falls. A look back at the confidence he is capable of finding. A lift up to reach the tools he needs when faced with challenges. He's grown so much living inside of his bubble. And even though he needs to venture out, I'm glad that it's still there for him. As it always will be.